I attended a construction materials seminar recently and noted the different presenters’ ages, fitness, energy levels, and experience. The youngest, most fit man, possibly former military from his haircut and bearing (the kind of fella who says, “yes, ma’am”) was the least confident—likely due to his relative inexperience with the company and/or presenting. The other presenters appeared to be in their late 40s to early 60s.
Men of this age tend to carry survival belly: either they appear to be expecting twins imminently, or they can survive on their gut fat stores for weeks in an emergency. Despite this attribute, I noticed that male attractiveness is not limited to physical factors. As they lose outward sexual appeal, men can gain knowledge, experience, and character, making them more attractive than younger hunks without.
Making a comfortable living
Qualities that make a good husband and father—a Good Man—are invisible at a glance. You have to observe and get to know him to see these characteristics and behaviors through personal interactions, habits, and carriage.
These golden traits are not showy or eye-catching. A smart woman wants emotional stability, dedication, attention, and earning power from her man, not a good shag three times a day. They’re not exclusive abilities but working to build a secure home for your family takes time and energy away from sexual availability.
Slow-burning coals vs. a match
With sex, the focus is me, now. Building a home and a career focuses on me and others I care about, long term. So, which has greater value? Which creates the hot ember igniting growth and goals for years, generations even? Must one choose? Not if you carefully find the fella with:
From the beginning, you can observe:
- How does he treat you?
- How does he communicate with you?
- How does he treat others?
- Does he keep his commitments?
- Does he respect himself?
- How does he make you feel about yourself?
Look at a man in your life and appreciate the unsexy ways he showed up, supported you, did hard things because it was necessary or important, and otherwise valued you. Tell him what that means to you. THANK HIM.
If you are a man, stop taking yourself for granted. Assess your own sexy qualities. Showing up, supporting your family, and actively participating in your life are WORTHY ENDEAVORS—to yourself, your community, and to society. Stand up straight and OWN IT.
Featured image by Frank McKenna on Unsplash.